Here comes dhe 12th..

Edwin's saying that he doesn't want a relationship so today's the day, 8 sept 2010, i'm starting to let him go. I'm merely granting him what he wants. Humph. Just hope it works out fer him.. I really need a good fuck right now. Argh. He's nortt my guy doesn't mean that we can't hang out together and have fun, it just means no commitment. Haish. I'm just really trying to be positive.. I can't step into the darkness again. It's too painful.

Art O level coursework is due next friday, so I need to stop slacking and have to start chiong already. But I really sibei no mood sia. Argh.

I really dunno what's gonna happen to me now mann, all I know is that I can't break down. I feel so numb.. Humph.

LittleMissAlicia.

Muaii Eleventhh! (:

Baby's talking to me again.. Since 2days ago, On tuesday.. Everything's fine. (: And he says this will never happen again. So all's good now I guess. (:

But I was wrong. Humph. I was being bombed yesterday night. Ohmygosh, baby wanted a breakup. I ain't too sure what's going on too mann. It's our 10th day together and you're leaving?! With all that i've done so far, how could I let him walk away from me? :/

Baby did mention that I was an annoyance sometimes, thinking about it last night made me realised that I should give him more personal space.. I was in the wrong. Sorry babyboy.

Apparently, we sort of have a timeout till monday after his paper. I really really hope that everything's gonna be fine again fer the both of us.

I haven been this happy fer a long time. And I haven been myself fer a even longer time. And all this is because of my baby, edwin.. I love him. I know I do, because i'm doing everything I can to support him and to be only his to have. I want my babyboy to stay.. Please dun let me fall down hard again..

Tenthh.

My heart is breaking. What's happening? I dun wanna lose my baby boy. I feel so afraid, and insecure. Please?

I really need to let go of daryl completely, and to do so, i need to let go of his promises. HAISH. And i will. From right now, i'm throwing him out of my life. Or else, it'll never be fair to edwin because i love him.. Like babyboy always says, the past is the past, we should care about the future.

I'm gonna live my life right again. Thankyou BABYBOY! <33

Dhhe Nine! (:

Just printed my art prelims pictures. Alittle small though. Humph. Anyways, still need to draw, so maybe i'll just draw bigger barhs.

Currently online with edwin baobeii.. Someone needs to study really hard soon. I'll only get to see him this saturday fer about 4hours lorr. Haish. Sibei she bu de sia. Humph. But i qort to be understanding and give him the support he needs. Since i chose to love him, dhen i'll have to finish the whole job.(:

He promised to come look fer me right after his last paper though. So i'll just wait lorr. By dhen, just nice would be my one week school break. So we cann go out.(:

Haish. My back's aching rather badly today. Wonder why seh.. Lawls. I sort of miss dance class these days. Dunno why but i just do. Just wanna dance whad my hearts desires.. Dun need instuctor or teacher to guide, just follow the flow of the song. Haish. Sort of regret starting counselling. Dunno lehx, i just feel so turned off recently by it. No point avoiding, i know.. but.. haish.

Anyways, tomorrow is english paper 2. Starts at 2.30pm, so need wake up by 1pm to shower.(: Shall skip lunch dhen. Hahaha.

I miss Deardear alot seh. Can't stop thinking of him. Everywhere i go, everything i do, i'm thinking of him. This afternoon wasn't so good. Baby boy went missing lorr. Message him never reply de.. Make me wanna cry only lorr. Kns. Hahaha. 4th day only, start to bully me le. Damn fast lorr. Heehees. Love my little baby boy loads.:D

Gonna stop here people. Take Cares~

LittleMissAlicia.

Eiight!

23rd August~ a new chapter is beginning fer me and Edwin.

Worked on 13,14,15,20,21 and 22 august at expo. Total pay should be $220 de, but i'm getting $250 instead. so shiok lorr. :D HAHAHA.

I REALLY ADORE EDWIN! He's like the cutest boyfren i ever had. HAHAHA. I so so can just be who i am when i'm with him. No pressure or what so ever. LAWLS. Hope that he'll treat me right and well, AND wholeheartedly. :D

Currently having my prelims this week and next. Recently started seeing a private proper counsellor. Dunno if it's working and helping nort. SIBEI SIANX SIA. ):

Missing My Edwin Deardear. :/

Love,
Cheryl Alicia Chua.

Muaii Seventh.

Baby has left me fer real. 16th may's the date. It's all over. Never again will i do stuff like that fer my guy. It's time to pick myself up and move on. But i just can't seem to do so. Everywhere i go, everything i do, reminds me of you. But i'm gonna move on without you.

I KNOW I DUN NEED YOU TO SURVIVE. :D

God Bless People.! :D

The 6th.

Last weekend was horrible. Me and baby just had so many problems, everything was going wrong and i felt like shit. But on sunday, my family celebrated my grandma's bday early and i qort her a rose! :D

Things between us didn't improve and i just qort so fed up and disappointed. When was the last time he picked me up or sent me home? He doesn't give me sweet surprises and sometimes i really wonder if i'm impt to him. But all in all, i know i love him. He'll always be my baby.

Midyears are here. Dun wanna study mann! So boring. But yet i want my results so i have to. Jiayous barhs. Well, qort to go! Have a smooth week ahead people! God bless! :D